There are many ups and downs for this Zardozi woman who is on her quest to find Mr. Right
It’s been a few months now of taking a break from dating apps. Sure I swiped past a few guys here and there on some bored nights, but overall I have just been taking time for myself.
I wanted to move on from Mr. M and not let my feelings for him taint any future connections.
But Mr. M had returned into the picture, saying although he wasn’t ready for a relationship, said we would keep in touch and see what happened. Since I still cared for him, I accepted this half ass crumb he threw my way and we communicated for a few weeks.
Something felt off. Although he was responsive, something in my gut told me his heart wasn’t in it.
He asked me to meet him for dinner and then never actually made a plan and then completely disappeared on me. It hurt. But at this point, I knew he was still not ready and had backed away. No amount of begging or crying will bring a man back. They only return out of their own choosing, if a lightbulb finally goes off in their heads about what a great catch you actually are and how stupid they were for letting you go.
He’s just another ghost to add to my dating haunted house. It is sad to think he is just as bad at communicating as many of the other men or should I say, boys, seem to be. As my friend said, “These men are acting like teenagers.”
It was disheartening since I thought Mr. M was different. The irony is that he always told me he would never just disappear on me and yet Mr. H, was now Mr. Houdini, a vanishing act which left me with just memories of his sweet words and precious hugs.
He wasn’t the first one to spook me either. After seeing one man for several months, he completely stopped communicating without explanation. I cried and tried to get an answer, but he did what ghosts do best, disappearing without a care.
Recently as I was swiping, I actually came across his profile and laughed when I saw it. It was so refreshing to be able to not care at all for this heartless boy.
I sometimes wonder what I will do if I am swiping and see Mr. M on one of these apps. The idea of seeing that he is out looking for someone else will probably make my stomach churn.
That is the problem with swiping, you never know what monster or man you will see next and if you do find someone suitable, if they will end up breaking your heart in the end, without even explaining why.
If you have ever been ghosted, you know how it can hurt. And I have made a vow to never do this to any guy.