The beauty of online dating apps is that you don’t really have to wait for that chance encounter in the cereal aisle with the potential love of your life. You can be proactive about finding a mate and that was what I was set to do. Friends told me to take time to be alone and enjoy my single status. But I wanted a companion, someone to have a laugh with, and treat me like a lady. Was I kidding myself that I could possibly find someone that respected me enough to not just be after one thing after a first date?
One man that I matched with asked me to meet him for a drink. I agreed since he looked pretty good in his pictures. The only strange thing was that he never smiled in them. He claimed that it was because he did not like to force a fake smile and that I would see the real deal in person. My first instinct was that he must have bad teeth, but I quickly dismissed the idea. I assumed in this day and age, most people visit the dentist for regular cleanings or get braces. I was wrong…listen to your instinct ladies. It never lies.
“…listen to your instinct ladies. It never lies.”
We agreed to meet at a public spot. The minute he walked towards me, my heart sunk and I knew it was a mistake meeting him. He was so casually dressed. Call me snobby, but on a first date I feel a man should make an impression. We aren’t teenagers anymore. Baggy jeans and boots are not acceptable.
Then he smiled and that’s when I realised why he didn’t want to. Unfortunately he looked completely different in person than his pictures, which is another pitfall of meeting online first. Photographs can be so deceiving.
We chatted for a while, with him telling me he has a comic book figurine collection. Not. My. Type. I told him I had to go since I had work the next day (which I did not). He called me while I was on my way home asking to see me again and saying he wanted a kiss. I told him I wouldn’t be able to meet him again. I don’t like to leave people hanging and I certainly don’t like to ghost. It has been done to me and I know how it can hurt. Everyone deserves a little respect.
I drove home crying for Mr. M. Why didn’t things work out with him. Mr. M seemed like everything I wanted, but I didn’t realise it when I was with him. Now it was too late and he was gone and I was stuck with men like this one that didn’t know much about oral hygiene.
The next day, comic book boy persisted. He sent me an inappropriate picture, which I promptly deleted. I did not reply as I had already told him the day prior that I was not interested.
“A lot of my interactions and decisions about seeing a person again boil down to a feeling.”
Back to swiping. There had to be someone out there I could click with who had a nice set of pearly whites.
Another man and I started to chat. He seemed nice. We agreed to meet. He showed up in jogging pants, a t-shirt and flip flops. Guys, please make an effort. He claimed that he was hesitant to meet me at first because he didn’t know if I was real or just some female escort trying to get his business (apparently there is a lot of that on this app too). He was relieved to find I was real and gushed about how beautiful he thought I was. He was a gentleman though and didn’t try any funny stuff. And he did want to see me again. But once again I did not feel a connection.
A lot of my interactions and decisions about seeing a person again boil down to a feeling. Sometimes you can’t explain in words why you are interested in one person and not the next. You have to go with what you feel in your gut and heart. Right now my heart was telling me to uninstall the app and take time to heal.